An Advice For The Younger Generation.

I just turned 25. I have lived a quarter of my life. And I wonder where does that leave me as a woman? Am I independent enough? Am I a woman of choice? Do I embrace my femininity?
A jibber jabber from here and there, I found no definite way to measure it.
But this concerns me! My niece who is only six would rather believe in what celebrities have to tell me; blame the technology? Will she become a woman of substance in this material world- would she believe in herself as a woman of choice when she turns my age- would she even know what it means to be independent?
Enough eyeballs have been rolled at #VogueEmpower Video of Deepika Padukone’s “#MyChoice”. A simple video where a woman merely talked of her choice, which I could connect. Yet, in-spite of how independent I believe I am, I disapproved upon some of her choice.

What she said is true, well most of them. But, here is what she forgot to tell you.
And this, I would repeat for years to come, if it means to save a young kid, like my niece, from growing up with a white lie about a woman of choice.
Remember it well and good. Keep it in your heart to embrace the femininity in you.
Neither having sex before marriage nor maintaining chastity makes you an independent woman. It’s being able to make the decision, which means to make a voluntary choice after weighing the pros and cons.
Wearing skimpy clothes or daring to go naked does not exhibit that you are a woman of choice, even if it is  for the sake of provoking the world that it is your #choice. If skimpy clothes is what makes you comfortable, then so be it. If you would rather cover yourself and feel the world, so be it. To be a REAL woman of choice is to enjoy the freedom to choose what your heart DESIRES, not with the will to protest or to concede to what society considers ‘proper’.
To be a woman of choice doesn’t mean that you have the right to abort unwanted pregnancies, or whether married or unmarried, you have the right to keep the baby. But if, and only ‘if’ your conscience allows you to stand firm on your decision then must you conclude—it’s your life and the choice is yours. Because if your choice haunt you, it is far from being an independent choice.
No, having sex outside of marriage does not make you an independent woman just as  choosing to stay in an unhappy marriage doesn’t make you a faithful wife. It’s neither about choosing to be infidel nor it is a show to be at par with men. It is to have the boldness to walk away when you have nothing to gain from it, and give yourself another shot at being happy with someone else. But not while you are still in a ‘marriage’. An independent woman understands the value of ‘Marriage.’
Being a woman of choice doesn’t necessarily mean drinking, smoking or ‘being high’ until you drop. If that is what liberates you and defines ‘who you are,’ then so be it. Yet, if you do so to fit in, to feel accepted, then you have become nothing but a woman with clipped wings.
Bear in mind, to be an independent woman is to have the wit to favor your own freedom of thoughts and actions. To be able to make a choice between the fine line of what is to be done, what you can do and what you would do. It is to have the courage to break away from ‘tradition’ for your own happiness.
To be independent is to take up what is best for you, without an intent of misuse or regret. It means to be content in what you choose and take full responsibility for the choice you make.
But above all, to be a woman of choice is to stay true to yourself and let other reflect on you.
Yumi Vashum. You can follow the writer at

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